Sit, boy.
I loved my dog dearly.
He died.
That evening, or perhaps it was the next evening, I let the heartbreak wash through me.
I just sat with the feeling without resisting it.
I did not fight the feeling because my love made me willing to allow the feeling as a sort of thanks to my dog. A repayment, perhaps.
Love based willingness is the key to the transmutation of pain. It’s probably the key to life in general.
The feeling was profoundly cathartic, healing, and affirming. I changed, and the world, my world, changed with me.
I learned something on a soul level.
I grew as a person in a way I can not properly convey.
Perhaps I can not properly convey what I learned because some of it is somewhat paradoxical in nature, or perhaps
I can not convey the lesson properly because, after all, we all live in different worlds, in a way.
I guess it’s also because actual experience can not be transcribed.
No one can explain how a banana tastes.
We can’t really understand without knowing, and “knowing” is experiencing for yourself.
It’s that simple.
But everyone who can smile has experienced the results of love based willingness, so you know what I mean. You have experienced things that can not be conveyed.
Anyway...
I don’t fear the loss of loved ones quite as much anymore.
Because I sat with the grief, the grief transcended itself.
It "went full circle," and it brought me along for the ride.
Other times in my life, I have refused to sit with the pain. Those other times, no transcendent experience occurred.
Only a feeling of loss and no gain.
No full circle.
